37 Weeks Baby #2

May 8th, 2016

How far along? 37 weeks
Stretch marks? yes, they are coming fast and furious now.  Just look at that belly!  it's HUGE
Sleep: I don't know what sleep is anymore, just exhaustion
Exercise: exercise has gone by the wayside as I am experiencing ab separation so I can't do much of anything.  No more BarreAmped for me and even walking is tough some days. 
Best moment this week (or the past few weeks): any time of the day that I don't have pain is a good moment.
Movement: baby sister is super active at night.  She is always moving.
Food cravings: Not really craving anything, but always eating (probably why I have gained so much weight this pregnancy.  Officially past the weight I was when I had Charlee at 41w)
Anything making you queasy or sick:not really
 Have you started to show yet: ugh, I'm so big.  I'm having a really hard time handling it this pregnancy.  With Charlee, I stopped caring at this point.  But it depresses me a lot and I have no clothes that fit anymore.
Gender: baby sister!
Labor Signs:more Braxton Hicks
Symptoms: ab separation pain (excruciating), pelvic pain, swollen feet
Belly Button in or out? officially no belly button, just flat
Wedding rings on or off? off
Happy or Moody most of the time: I won't lie, this past week has been rough.  It has been hard to function both emotionally and physically with all the pain I'm in with the ab separation.  I literally can't do anything.  I can't pick things off the floor, can't pick up Charlee, can't workout, have trouble walking, even rolling over in bed hurts.
I'm also very overwhelmed with the thought of having an infant right now.  I feel awful about it.  I'm not going to sugarcoat it and say that everything in this pregnancy is just awesome and fabulous all the time because it's not.  This pregnancy has been hard for me.  Between worrying about miscarrying again and all the aches and pains, it has been hard to handle.  And now the emotions are taking over. We have wanted baby sister for a long time now, 2 years to be exact, and have gone through 2 miscarriages and many rounds of fertility drugs to get to this point, so I feel awful that I'm not really excited for her to be on the outside.  I'm not ready to be up all night, attempting to breastfeed again, changing diapers, etc especially trying to do it all with a toddler.


Dear baby sister,

First off, just know that we love you very much.  I may cry every day about how overwhelmed I am and how I'm not ready for you, but that does not affect how much we love you.

Charlee is so excited for you to come.  She asks every day when you are coming.  We have started getting all of your baby stuff out.  Charlee has put the swing and playmat in special places.  She is so excited that your car seat is in the car next to hers.  She loves telling everyone about you (apparently your name is now "Oh-hee." No clue where that one came from.  And no, we do not have a name for you yet).

We love you so much, we really do.  And I will get excited about you coming (if you could also take the 40+ lbs of weight I have gained too when you come out, that would be great.)

Love,
mommy